I’m a Group Therapist and Play a Traitor's-Style Game with Teenagers—Here’s Why:

I’ve worked with adolescents for years, and I’m always looking for new and creative ways to engage them in group therapy—especially when they didn’t exactly sign up for it. Many of the teens I work with are there because their family, school, or even the court has mandated it, not because they eagerly sought out therapy.

My first experience leading a teen group was in an Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP) for kids struggling with behavior, attendance, and academic progress. Most of these kids didn’t engage with teachers, didn’t complete schoolwork, and often felt completely disconnected from education. IOP requires a minimum of 15 hours of therapy per week—for teenagers. That’s a lot of therapy.

Many of the teens in my groups ended up there after getting in trouble at school, and over the years, I’ve noticed a pattern. These kids weren’t just struggling; they were often being singled out. I hesitate to use the word targeted, but in some cases, it feels accurate. They’d get in trouble for things their peers were also doing, yet they faced harsher consequences. And when they protested, they were often dismissed or ignored. Many of my clients felt they were being falsely accused, repeatedly.

Traitors Connection

Growing up, we played a game called Mafia in school. One student—the “killer”—would secretly pick someone to eliminate, and the rest of us would open our eyes and try to figure out who it was. Accusations were made based on hunches, false memories, squeaky chairs, and red herrings. I remember playing this as young as 11, and let me tell you—being falsely accused of “murdering” a classmate was infuriating.

Since I obviously can’t run a therapy group where we accuse each other of murder, I’ve adapted a version of the game used in The Traitors. In my groups, participants banish and accuse each other instead. And for many of my clients, this is a completely new skill—defending themselves in a way that’s actually effective.

The Prep Work: Conflict Resolution and Fair Fighting

Before we even think about playing this game, I spend several sessions covering conflict resolution and fair fighting rules. Here are the ones I emphasize before we start:

• Discuss one issue at a time

• No degrading language

• Express emotions with words

• Take turns speaking

• No yelling

  
  

Once we lay that foundation, we play. And once we start, my clients want to play over and over again.

At first, the game is pure chaos—frustration, weak arguments, and a desperate need to prove themselves right. But as they play, they start developing real skills: looking for actual evidence, building logical arguments, and practicing fair fighting rules—all while defending themselves against accusations they may or may not deserve.

If you’re thinking about trying a game like this with a group, classroom, or even your family, consider whether they have the skills to handle it. There are variations like Werewolves that work well, but if your group struggles with conflict resolution, it’s best to hold off until they’ve developed that skill set. For example, I notice Clients who are realists, really struggle with the idea of being falsely accused without any evidence. They get frustrated when someone pulls a defense out of thin air.

But for those who can handle it, this game is a powerful way to practice emotional regulation, critical thinking, and conflict resolution—all while having fun (at least that's what I tell myself, it's really hard to tell with teenagers isn't it?).

And for teens who’ve spent their lives feeling unheard and unfairly blamed? Learning how to defend themselves and be taken seriously is a game-changer.